I am annoyed that there's no common labeling differences between "if you're triggered by X, maybe avoid this story" variety, and "if you like X, this story is for you."

I think in many cases, there's no real distinction to make. If a fic contains blood-play or watersports or character death in the warnings, that warning serves to attract anyone who wants to read those things. There's no conflict, because it means the same thing to both sides.

Somehow, though, when the subject is consent and sex, we (and by "we" I mean fandom) get confused. Even "non-con" can be a confusing label, because there's a big difference between a non-con scene that's written to be erotic and a non-con scene that's intended to be awful and shocking. And the label/warning doesn't tell you much about how graphic it will be, either. And that confusion seems to become even more difficult to navigate when you get to dub-con.