Heh, I think we're both proof that there can't be a middle ground in this, ever :). I think your ideal would probably put me off reading and watching fave series for good, because I *love* having my emotions rattled, and having that experience spoiled frustrates me to tears :).

The one place I can't make sure to spoil myself in advance is comics

*grin*
Though that's an environment where character death is way less final than in other media (*cough*, the Jean Grey effect, *cough*)