Pity he didn't wake her up to say goodbye- his rationalizations were pretty thin just then- such a coward in the small ways.

I think he is a coward when it comes to personal relationships. It's not just the whole tough-guy thing of not talking about feelings; he really does seem to avoid facing them head-on.

But whyyyy couldn't he come back?

Dude, I don't know - you'd have to ask Kripke :-)

My interpretation? John always has good intentions, but he lets a more immediate problem get in the way of the long-term good. He missed Christmas with his kids because something needed killing. In this story, he (naturally) prioritises his kids over Ellen, and he probably had every intention of returning, but another hunt came along, and then something else and the longer he stayed away the harder it got to face her again. Dumbass.

Thanks for commenting!