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META: Sam, choice and destiny
Disclaimer: I'm not sure how coherent this will be, but I want to get it out before the next episode. This is speculation - no future spoilers; canon may or may not answer it.
My question isn't so much what Sam is doing, which I'm assuming the next episode will reveal; I'm more interested in why he is doing whatever it is.
I'm thinking about Sam and choice and destiny. I'm thinking about the fact that in virtually all of the major events in the first three years of the series, Sam has failed to achieve the things he wanted and needed.
The mission of Season one, for Sam, was to find and kill the YED. For Sam, Dean's mission to find Dad was a means to that end; it's true that somewhere along the line finding John became an end in itself for Sam and their eventual tentative reconciliation (in Dead Man's Blood) achieved that. But Sam's focus was his need for revenge.
Jessica's murder was a lot more than the loss of someone Sam loved. When Sam chose to leave for Stanford, he took defiant control of his own destiny. He built a life for himself, he planned a future. When Jessica burned on his ceiling, the destiny Sam chose for himself burned right along with her. We can argue that rejoining Dean was Sam's choice, but really, what else was he to do? And once he was back on the road, Sam was in effect following his brother's lead, no longer in control of what they did or where they went.
Some of Sam's natural resentment boiled over in Asylum where the crazy-spirit-influenced Sam tried to shoot Dean. In Scarecrow Sam rebelled again, leaving Dean to search forJohn the demon on his own. He chose to return to his brother, valuing Dean's welfare over his revenge, and post-Scarecrow we see a Sam who is more assertive about the hunting, more comfortable in that role, because now he has actively chosen it (although even post-Scarecrow he still sees hunting as a temporary thing).
At the end of season one, Sam again made a choice to put his family ahead of revenge: when he refused to kill John in order to kill the YED. But this time that choice had some devestating consequences: Dean's near-death, John's death, John's damnation. Most telling of all, the seeds of a new rift between the brothers sown by John's secret whispered in Dean's ear.
It wasn't the first time Sam's choices led to the death of someone he loved. He blames himself for Jessica, too, convinced that his decision to ignore his prophetic dreams led to her fiery death. It doesn't matter whether he's right or wrong about that: he believes it. So season two began, for Sam, in the same way season one did: he made a choice, now someone he loved is dead, and it's (partly) his fault. But this time he is denied Dean's support: Dean, dealing with guilt of his own and burdened by secrets, is in no condition to help Sam deal.
In Playthings we see how poorly Sam is dealing. His drunken rant to Dean is utterly irrational, and yet must seem perfectly logical to Sam himself: the more people I save, the more I can change my [evil] destiny. It's a reaction to the people he failed to save: Jessica and John, and to the long-ago death he now feels responsible for: Mary.
But the real problem isn't guilt. It's Sam's need to feel in control of his own destiny. With all these people telling him he's not: the YED with his "plans for you, Sammy", Gordon Walker with his Sam=Antichrist and even John Winchester, telling Sam (via Dean) from beyond the grave that he is going to become the thing they hunt, it's small wonder Sam is at breaking point.
At the end of Season two, a couple of truly devestating events occurred.
In All Hell Breaks Loose (Pt 1), Sam explicitly rejected the demonic destiny Azazel laid out for him. He refused to kill Jake. But the consequences of this attempt to wrest back control of his own destiny were even worse than before: Sam caused his own death. Worse still, he caused Dean's death and damnation.
The second devestating event was the death of Azazel. I know what you're thinking: isn't that supposed to be a good thing? And yes, it is. But this had been Sam's mission from the beginning. In Salvation, Dean explicitly disclaimed the mission when he said that if the cost was his family, he hoped they never found the demon. Even so, John gave the Colt into Dean's hands, not Sam's. And in AHBL2, while Sam killed Jake, thus (apparently) placing himself back on Azazel's demonic team, it was Dean who pulled the trigger and killed Azazel himself. Even John got to help, in spite of being dead. Sam had to watch, pinned down by the demon's power, unable to assist.
I'm not disputing Dean's right to pull that trigger. Nor am I suggesting there was any thought in Dean's mind that he was taking something from Sam. Nor do I think Sam himself saw it that way: in the immediate aftermath, Sam is just happy the demon is dead. He sees it as a liberation, he's grateful. Nonetheless, killing the YED was Sam's mission for two years, and someone else got to deliver the final coup de grace, while Sam watched, helpless.
Mission One accomplished, season three gave Sam a whole new mission: to save Dean from his demonic bargain. At the same time Sam almost agressively rejected the notion that Azazel had any remaining influence on his life. Sam's declaration that all his freaky powers were gone, only a week after the YED died, never made sense. Unless his "psychic thing" was a good deal more than canon allowed us to see, a week wasn't nearly long enough for Sam to know it was gone. He wasn't declaring facts, but rather hoping that saying the thing would make it so. He clung stubbornly to that belief, despite both enemies (Gordon Walker), friends (Bobby) and demons (Ruby, among others) telling him otherwise.
For the first time, we saw a Sam who refused to be distracted from his mission. In both seasons one and two, there were occasions when he put other things ahead of the mission; in season three, nothing was more important to him. This was illustrated most sharply in Mystery Spot: no matter how many times the day repeated itself, Sam did not once waver from his mission to save Dean's life. Even when it became Wednesday, and the repetition stopped, Sam stayed frighteningly focussed on reversing events. He succeeded only partially; in the end he got time reset and Dean returned to his side...but Dean was still doomed, his demon deal unaffected by the Trickster's interference.
And in spite of all that effort and angst, Sam failed once again. Dean died. Just to twist the knife, right before Dean's deadline, Ruby informed Sam that the psychic powers he's been pretending he doesn't have could save Dean. We don't know if this is true, but we do know he has something pretty powerful going on; at the very least Lilith was unable to harm him. But this came too late to save Dean.
This is the place Sam is in as season four begins.
He's carrying a lot. Virtually everyone he's ever loved is dead and Sam has reasons to feel personally responsible for each of those deaths.
So far we know very little about what Sam has done in the months between the end of the last season and the beginning of this one. We know that he's working with a demon (a number of small clues teasingly suggest she may not be Ruby, though it's clear Sam believes she is) and that he's finally exploring what his powers can do. Sam said he tried all possible ways to get Dean out of Hell; though we have only his word for it there's no reason to doubt him on that one. And that's about it.
Castiel says Sam is on a dangerous path and has ordered Dean to put a stop to it. Somehow, I don't think it'll be that easy. Sam has never responded well to orders.
There's more to it, though. What has led Sam to this path is what he must see as a long list of his own failures. He failed to save Jessica; he failed to save Dean after the car crash (John did it for him, at terrible cost); he failed to kill the YED (Dean did that for him, again at terrible cost); and how many times has he failed to save Dean? Yet again, someone else (Castiel, this time) completed the task where Sam failed.
And yeah, Sam's thrilled to have Dean back and whole, and he likes the notion that angels are on their side. But what's driving him right now is that determination not to fail again. He thinks he's finally on the right track, in control and doing good. Dean is not going to find it easy to persuade him otherwise.
What we don't know is what's Sam's mission now?
Discussion is welcome, but I beg you not to post even tiny spoilers in comments.
My question isn't so much what Sam is doing, which I'm assuming the next episode will reveal; I'm more interested in why he is doing whatever it is.
I'm thinking about Sam and choice and destiny. I'm thinking about the fact that in virtually all of the major events in the first three years of the series, Sam has failed to achieve the things he wanted and needed.
The mission of Season one, for Sam, was to find and kill the YED. For Sam, Dean's mission to find Dad was a means to that end; it's true that somewhere along the line finding John became an end in itself for Sam and their eventual tentative reconciliation (in Dead Man's Blood) achieved that. But Sam's focus was his need for revenge.
Jessica's murder was a lot more than the loss of someone Sam loved. When Sam chose to leave for Stanford, he took defiant control of his own destiny. He built a life for himself, he planned a future. When Jessica burned on his ceiling, the destiny Sam chose for himself burned right along with her. We can argue that rejoining Dean was Sam's choice, but really, what else was he to do? And once he was back on the road, Sam was in effect following his brother's lead, no longer in control of what they did or where they went.
Some of Sam's natural resentment boiled over in Asylum where the crazy-spirit-influenced Sam tried to shoot Dean. In Scarecrow Sam rebelled again, leaving Dean to search for
At the end of season one, Sam again made a choice to put his family ahead of revenge: when he refused to kill John in order to kill the YED. But this time that choice had some devestating consequences: Dean's near-death, John's death, John's damnation. Most telling of all, the seeds of a new rift between the brothers sown by John's secret whispered in Dean's ear.
It wasn't the first time Sam's choices led to the death of someone he loved. He blames himself for Jessica, too, convinced that his decision to ignore his prophetic dreams led to her fiery death. It doesn't matter whether he's right or wrong about that: he believes it. So season two began, for Sam, in the same way season one did: he made a choice, now someone he loved is dead, and it's (partly) his fault. But this time he is denied Dean's support: Dean, dealing with guilt of his own and burdened by secrets, is in no condition to help Sam deal.
In Playthings we see how poorly Sam is dealing. His drunken rant to Dean is utterly irrational, and yet must seem perfectly logical to Sam himself: the more people I save, the more I can change my [evil] destiny. It's a reaction to the people he failed to save: Jessica and John, and to the long-ago death he now feels responsible for: Mary.
But the real problem isn't guilt. It's Sam's need to feel in control of his own destiny. With all these people telling him he's not: the YED with his "plans for you, Sammy", Gordon Walker with his Sam=Antichrist and even John Winchester, telling Sam (via Dean) from beyond the grave that he is going to become the thing they hunt, it's small wonder Sam is at breaking point.
At the end of Season two, a couple of truly devestating events occurred.
In All Hell Breaks Loose (Pt 1), Sam explicitly rejected the demonic destiny Azazel laid out for him. He refused to kill Jake. But the consequences of this attempt to wrest back control of his own destiny were even worse than before: Sam caused his own death. Worse still, he caused Dean's death and damnation.
The second devestating event was the death of Azazel. I know what you're thinking: isn't that supposed to be a good thing? And yes, it is. But this had been Sam's mission from the beginning. In Salvation, Dean explicitly disclaimed the mission when he said that if the cost was his family, he hoped they never found the demon. Even so, John gave the Colt into Dean's hands, not Sam's. And in AHBL2, while Sam killed Jake, thus (apparently) placing himself back on Azazel's demonic team, it was Dean who pulled the trigger and killed Azazel himself. Even John got to help, in spite of being dead. Sam had to watch, pinned down by the demon's power, unable to assist.
I'm not disputing Dean's right to pull that trigger. Nor am I suggesting there was any thought in Dean's mind that he was taking something from Sam. Nor do I think Sam himself saw it that way: in the immediate aftermath, Sam is just happy the demon is dead. He sees it as a liberation, he's grateful. Nonetheless, killing the YED was Sam's mission for two years, and someone else got to deliver the final coup de grace, while Sam watched, helpless.
Mission One accomplished, season three gave Sam a whole new mission: to save Dean from his demonic bargain. At the same time Sam almost agressively rejected the notion that Azazel had any remaining influence on his life. Sam's declaration that all his freaky powers were gone, only a week after the YED died, never made sense. Unless his "psychic thing" was a good deal more than canon allowed us to see, a week wasn't nearly long enough for Sam to know it was gone. He wasn't declaring facts, but rather hoping that saying the thing would make it so. He clung stubbornly to that belief, despite both enemies (Gordon Walker), friends (Bobby) and demons (Ruby, among others) telling him otherwise.
For the first time, we saw a Sam who refused to be distracted from his mission. In both seasons one and two, there were occasions when he put other things ahead of the mission; in season three, nothing was more important to him. This was illustrated most sharply in Mystery Spot: no matter how many times the day repeated itself, Sam did not once waver from his mission to save Dean's life. Even when it became Wednesday, and the repetition stopped, Sam stayed frighteningly focussed on reversing events. He succeeded only partially; in the end he got time reset and Dean returned to his side...but Dean was still doomed, his demon deal unaffected by the Trickster's interference.
And in spite of all that effort and angst, Sam failed once again. Dean died. Just to twist the knife, right before Dean's deadline, Ruby informed Sam that the psychic powers he's been pretending he doesn't have could save Dean. We don't know if this is true, but we do know he has something pretty powerful going on; at the very least Lilith was unable to harm him. But this came too late to save Dean.
This is the place Sam is in as season four begins.
He's carrying a lot. Virtually everyone he's ever loved is dead and Sam has reasons to feel personally responsible for each of those deaths.
So far we know very little about what Sam has done in the months between the end of the last season and the beginning of this one. We know that he's working with a demon (a number of small clues teasingly suggest she may not be Ruby, though it's clear Sam believes she is) and that he's finally exploring what his powers can do. Sam said he tried all possible ways to get Dean out of Hell; though we have only his word for it there's no reason to doubt him on that one. And that's about it.
Castiel says Sam is on a dangerous path and has ordered Dean to put a stop to it. Somehow, I don't think it'll be that easy. Sam has never responded well to orders.
There's more to it, though. What has led Sam to this path is what he must see as a long list of his own failures. He failed to save Jessica; he failed to save Dean after the car crash (John did it for him, at terrible cost); he failed to kill the YED (Dean did that for him, again at terrible cost); and how many times has he failed to save Dean? Yet again, someone else (Castiel, this time) completed the task where Sam failed.
And yeah, Sam's thrilled to have Dean back and whole, and he likes the notion that angels are on their side. But what's driving him right now is that determination not to fail again. He thinks he's finally on the right track, in control and doing good. Dean is not going to find it easy to persuade him otherwise.
What we don't know is what's Sam's mission now?
Discussion is welcome, but I beg you not to post even tiny spoilers in comments.