With regard to his leaving for Stanford (which was the context within which I used the term)
No, I agree that Sam leaving for Stanford was essentially selfish (and like you, I don't see anything wrong with that), but why mention it if you're not drawing some parallel to the present situation? I'm not sure what I'm missing here...?
The revenge scenario makes little sense because it wasn’t Lilith who wrecked Sam’s life and it wasn’t Sam that she sent to Hell, so what’s he getting revenge for?
For what she did to Dean, and, by extension, for what she did to Sam through Dean. It doesn't have to be rational or logical. Sam's initial target was Azazel and he was denied that revenge by Dean. So he needed a new target and Dean's deal handed him one. It was the Crossroads Demon first, and when shooting her didn't help it became whomever held Dean's contract. And when Dean died, it was predictable that Sam would essentially become...not John Winchester exactly, but rather the distorted image of John that Sam always saw: obsessed and driven by revenge to the exclusion of all else.
We saw him try to sell his own soul, and have it turned down. I think that, when he agreed to do this Ruby's way, Sam knew damn well he was essentially damning himself - just slower. It's what he wanted. Getting Dean back couldn't change that any more than Dean saying "I don't deserve to go to Hell" could break his deal.
I do take issue, though, with Sam’s accusations that Dean’s perpetually wallowing in the Hell stuff. If Sam didn’t want to hear about it, why did he ask?
If you assume that the only times it's been mentioned between them are the moments we've seen on screen, well, yeah, maybe Sam's being unreasonable (but why assume that?). And I do think that Dean's entitled to a wee bit of angst over it all (but he was a dick before he went to Hell; he doesn't get a free pass from me because of that). But Sam's frustrated with Dean's unwillingness to go straight for the target (Lilith) and he sees Dean's experience as a big part of what's holding them both back.
There are 66 seals and, supposedly, Dean was saved by Castiel to stop Lilith breaking them. If she breaks the last seal, Hell literally comes to Earth. Since Dean knows what Hell is like, he ought to be gung-ho to stop that. But he isn't. Instead he's bouncing from job to job just like they always have, while Sam is focussed on the war. If Dean had an alternate plan, Sam might fall in with it, but there's no sign of a plan...and there won't be because fundamentally Dean isn't a leader. He's a follower. And Sam, who is a natural leader, is going to move forward with, or without his brother.
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No, I agree that Sam leaving for Stanford was essentially selfish (and like you, I don't see anything wrong with that), but why mention it if you're not drawing some parallel to the present situation? I'm not sure what I'm missing here...?
The revenge scenario makes little sense because it wasn’t Lilith who wrecked Sam’s life and it wasn’t Sam that she sent to Hell, so what’s he getting revenge for?
For what she did to Dean, and, by extension, for what she did to Sam through Dean. It doesn't have to be rational or logical. Sam's initial target was Azazel and he was denied that revenge by Dean. So he needed a new target and Dean's deal handed him one. It was the Crossroads Demon first, and when shooting her didn't help it became whomever held Dean's contract. And when Dean died, it was predictable that Sam would essentially become...not John Winchester exactly, but rather the distorted image of John that Sam always saw: obsessed and driven by revenge to the exclusion of all else.
We saw him try to sell his own soul, and have it turned down. I think that, when he agreed to do this Ruby's way, Sam knew damn well he was essentially damning himself - just slower. It's what he wanted. Getting Dean back couldn't change that any more than Dean saying "I don't deserve to go to Hell" could break his deal.
I do take issue, though, with Sam’s accusations that Dean’s perpetually wallowing in the Hell stuff. If Sam didn’t want to hear about it, why did he ask?
If you assume that the only times it's been mentioned between them are the moments we've seen on screen, well, yeah, maybe Sam's being unreasonable (but why assume that?). And I do think that Dean's entitled to a wee bit of angst over it all (but he was a dick before he went to Hell; he doesn't get a free pass from me because of that). But Sam's frustrated with Dean's unwillingness to go straight for the target (Lilith) and he sees Dean's experience as a big part of what's holding them both back.
There are 66 seals and, supposedly, Dean was saved by Castiel to stop Lilith breaking them. If she breaks the last seal, Hell literally comes to Earth. Since Dean knows what Hell is like, he ought to be gung-ho to stop that. But he isn't. Instead he's bouncing from job to job just like they always have, while Sam is focussed on the war. If Dean had an alternate plan, Sam might fall in with it, but there's no sign of a plan...and there won't be because fundamentally Dean isn't a leader. He's a follower. And Sam, who is a natural leader, is going to move forward with, or without his brother.