Thoughts on THAT exchange in SPN 4.14

[briarwood]

Why is it these boys can't have an honest conversation when they're both sober and not under some magical influence? Their exchange in 4.14 had the feel of a set-piece, it didn't fit the context very well. But it was stuff that needed to be said, on both sides.

Here's a recap. What Dean said to Sam was:

I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in Hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone. And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies, the secrets. [snipped.] You're hiding things from me. What else aren't you telling me? [snipped] We used to be in this together. We used to have each other's backs.

There's very little in there that we didn't already know. Sam has changed and he has been hiding things from Dean. But Dean thinks the change is recent and that's where he's wrong. And if he could stop and really think about it, Dean would probably remember.

Hiding things is nothing new for Sam: he's been doing it ever since he decided to go to college. We don't know how much of that he hid from Dean, but I'm betting he did everything he could to keep it to himself, because Dean would have told their father. Even if we assume that Sam shared his plans with Dean, as far back as season one Sam made it clear that he was holding things back from Dean:

Look...you're my brother and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself. (Sam in Bloody Mary)

What has changed in this scenario is that Dean has, in effect, stepped into John's role: he's decided what is best for Sam, and doesn't like that Sam has a different opinion.

Sam has changed in other ways, but the biggest part of his transformation is nothing to do with demon blood: it's his reaction to Dean's deal. Sam in seasons one and two was afraid of his psychic abilities. He actively resisted using the power he had. He wanted to be "normal". After Azazel confirmed that Sam was "special" and that all the horrible things that have happened to Sam's loved ones were somehow connected to his specialness, he was terrified he was destined to turn into something evil, something to be hunted. There was, objectively, very little to justify Sam's fear, but Sam wasn't being objective.

Sam took his resistance to its logical conclusion at the end of season two: he refused to kill Jake, rejected Azazel's plans for him. And so he died.

And then he came back to life.

And then he was smacked in the face with what trying to do the right thing had bought for him. His moment of mercy killed Dean. Being good sent Dean to Hell.

Let's not forget, it was Dean who started lying and keeping secrets at this point. He told Sam that Bobby had patched him up. He insisted Bobby not tell Sam the truth. And when Sam figured it out anyway, Dean still didn't reveal the terms of his deal until he was forced to. And Dean still has not told Sam what Azazel said to him at the Devil's Gate. I'm going to quote all of it, because it's a pretty big damn secret that Dean is still keeping from Sam:

Dean...I got to thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people unless a deal is made. I know, red tape - it'll make you nuts. [Snipped.] Tell me - have you ever heard the expression, "If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?" And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean...you saw what your brother just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold, wasn't it? How certain are you that what you brought back, is 100% pure Sam? You of all people should know, that what's dead, should stay dead.

Dean, the self-righteous dick, needs to take a good look at himself before he condemns Sam for keeping secrets. There's more, of course. We know there's at least one big reveal still to come, one big secret Sam is still keeping. I sure hope it'll live up to the hype.

It's not just the secrets, though, is it? Sam has changed in other ways. He's more willing to be ruthless now, less worried about killing those who are technically human. But that change, too, goes back to Dean's deal. Had Sam killed Jake, Dean wouldn't have needed to make that deal. He's given up on his dream of a normal life and that, too, can be laid at Dean's door: Sam lost what was left of his innocence in the last year of Dean's life, largely because he was willing to do anything to break that deal.

So what about what Sam said to Dean?

You want to know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in Hell. Boo Hoo. You're not standing in my way any more.

I have to say, I think Sam is absolutely right about most of this. Sam hasn't told Dean what he's up to with Ruby because Dean made it abundantly clear he didn't approve. Not because he sees some danger to Sam, but on principle, because a) an angel told him so and b) Ruby's a demon. Sam, who has come to judge Ruby by her actions instead of by her nature, brushes aside b) as irrelevant and as for a)...well, the angels went into the box marked "not on our side" the moment Uriel threatened to send Dean back to Hell. So why would Sam care what they think?

Everything Sam said to Dean in Metamorphosis is true: he has found a way to kill (or at least eliminate) demons without killing their host bodies. It's better than using Ruby's knife, and, apparently, better than the old Latin-and-Holy-Water routine (I'm assuming this since in S3 most of the demons they exorcised left a dead body behind them; clearly Sam's psychic method has a better survival rate). Dean has a problem with it only because it's a psychic thing, and that scares him. Oh, and because Castiel said so.

There have been hints (well, anvils), that there's more to Sam's psychic ability than we've yet seen. He's doing something to recharge his psychic batteries, so to speak. We also saw his eyes turn demon-black when he exorcised Samhain, which likely doesn't bode well. Maybe when we find out what the big secret is, it will be clearer that Sam is on the wrong path, but right now with the information we - and, more importantly, Dean - have, I don't see anything wrong with what he's doing.

Sam isn't calling Dean weak, period. Rather, he says Dean is too weak to go after Lilith. That's specific, not general, and it's also no more than true. Dean's greatest fear right now isn't losing Sam, it's going back to Hell. And Lilith's the one who sent him there. In Yellow Fever it was Dean's fear of Lilith that almost killed him. Moreover, Dean has actively opposed including Ruby in their plans ever since she showed up in season 3, and it's clear that Sam thinks Ruby is an important part of the Lilith-hunting team.

The next thing he says is "You're holding me back." Again, implicit in that is "...from hunting Lilith." And, again, it's simply true if taken in that context. Dean has done everything he can to prevent Sam from going after Lilith directly...and he did that before he went to Hell, too.

The next part is more difficult to justify. Sam says he's a better hunter than Dean. Well, that's not really true: the boys are about equal, I think. Dean has more experience, but there are things Sam is better at (contrast, for example, Dean's flubbed exorcism in Sin City with Sam's super-off-the-cuff exorcism in Jus In Bello). I can see how Sam may have begun to develop the idea that he's the better hunter: since Dean's emotional tailspin after John's death, Sam took on the leadership role within their partnership and, again, through the first half of season 3 when Dean was behaving as if he didn't care he was going to Hell, the push to hunt was coming from Sam. So, yeah, though I don't agree that he's a better hunter than Dean, I can see where he's coming from with that statement.

But then, I think when he says "I'm a better hunter..." it's again, in the context of this one, specific hunt. Because Lilith has become Sam's obsession, every bit as much as Azazel was John's. I've said before that Sam is a lot like his daddy; here's another way in which he shows it. When he tells Dean he's better, stronger and smarter than he is, Sam immediately follows it up with "I can take out demons you're too scared to go near." It puts his words back in context: he means he's a better demon hunter than Dean is...and he's not wrong about that. Even without the psychic thing, from Phantom Traveler onwards it's always been Sam who took the lead against the demons.

Again, there's that reference to Dean's fear. I'm guessing Sam is thinking of Alastair when he says that, and it's certainly true that Alastair scared the shit out of Dean. Although it wasn't Sam who took out Alastair in the end, so perhaps the reference is to Samhain. Or both: perhaps Sam is saying that since he did take out Samhain, he believes he could have defeated Alastair too.

Finally, there's the mocking of Dean's emo-whining about Hell. I've got to tell you, I've been dying for someone to say that to Dean, because it's so freaking true. Yeah, I get it: Dean is tortured by what he did. But he's out of Hell now and he's in the middle of a goddamned war. He needs to shit or get off the pot, to use the crude cliche. In other words, if he can't get over it and do his job, fight this war, then he needs to step aside for someone who can. That's what Sam is saying, and he's 100% right. I've become so sick of Dean's storyline this season I can only echo Sam: Boo Hoo.

The truth hurts, but pain also precipitates healing.

The most disappointing thing about this episode was the way they both denied the exchange at the end. At the end of Asylum they did something similar: Sam apologised, claiming he hadn't meant it, but you could see that Dean knew better: Dean understood that there was truth at the heart of what Sam had said to him, even if the venom in the words wasn't meant.

But here, they both deny their words, both agree to put it down to the siren's spell. Idiots! They both need to admit that the other has a point. Maybe then they can get on with being brothers again.

I may not be able to respond to comments for a day or two. Also, PLEASE no spoilers in comments for episodes after this one. Not even vague ones.