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Disabled is scary now?
Most of you know I lost my Dad to cancer when I was very young. Something I don't think I've blogged about is that before he died he had several surgeries to treat the cancer. This was in the late 1970's; chemotherapy was relatively new and a horrific experience. It's none too pleasant now, but back then it was literally a case of the cure being worse than the disease. Dad refused it, though he did have radiation therapy. It didn't work.
Dad had three major operations over two years to take out his tumors. The tumor was located underneath his right arm. On the third occasion, the surgeon had to amputate his whole arm.
When an amputation is performed because of an injury, there's usually part of the limb left, though it might not be useful. In Dad's case, the location of the tumor meant that they had to take the whole arm, including the shoulder. He had a prosthetic arm, but I remember him using it only once; I don't recall the occasion but I do remember it was something for which he had to wear a suit, so I'm guessing it was a wedding or a christening. He had a few things I remember to make everyday tasks easier: he learned to use a combined knife and fork at dinner, we switched from a geared car to an automatic and he had a ball-and-stick attached to the wheel so he could steer with one hand. There were probably other things I don't remember. I would have been four or five years old at the time.
Dad was the first disabled person I ever knew and for several years after his death he was the only visibly disabled person I'd ever seen.
Where am I going with this? Parents have been complaining to the BBC about a presenter born with just one arm - because she "scares their children".
I am so boiling mad about this story I can't get my thoughts into good order. Do those unfeeling fuckers have any idea what it would have meant to me to have a presenter like this on TV when I was a kid? To know that my Dad wasn't unique, wasn't a freak?
I don't recall anyone being cruel to me about it, but I do remember being asked, repeatedly, what was wrong with my Dad, and having to explain it to other kids. Weirdly, it was actually easier when I was able to say "He's dead" instead of having to explain the amputation. Kids at that age just don't get it. But they should.
Any child scared by the sight of this woman has been failed by his or her parents. They are to blame for teaching children that a disability is something to be afraid of.
Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
vescoiya who alerted me to this story yesterday.
More links (I'll add more as I find them):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7906507.stm
Article on Sky News
Article on The First Post
It's shocking how many of the comments on the Daily Mail article are actually supportive of Cerrie and the BBC.
Article by Social Claire on Children & Young People Now.
An interesting discussion on the comments on the Guardian article.
Dad had three major operations over two years to take out his tumors. The tumor was located underneath his right arm. On the third occasion, the surgeon had to amputate his whole arm.
When an amputation is performed because of an injury, there's usually part of the limb left, though it might not be useful. In Dad's case, the location of the tumor meant that they had to take the whole arm, including the shoulder. He had a prosthetic arm, but I remember him using it only once; I don't recall the occasion but I do remember it was something for which he had to wear a suit, so I'm guessing it was a wedding or a christening. He had a few things I remember to make everyday tasks easier: he learned to use a combined knife and fork at dinner, we switched from a geared car to an automatic and he had a ball-and-stick attached to the wheel so he could steer with one hand. There were probably other things I don't remember. I would have been four or five years old at the time.
Dad was the first disabled person I ever knew and for several years after his death he was the only visibly disabled person I'd ever seen.
Where am I going with this? Parents have been complaining to the BBC about a presenter born with just one arm - because she "scares their children".
I am so boiling mad about this story I can't get my thoughts into good order. Do those unfeeling fuckers have any idea what it would have meant to me to have a presenter like this on TV when I was a kid? To know that my Dad wasn't unique, wasn't a freak?
I don't recall anyone being cruel to me about it, but I do remember being asked, repeatedly, what was wrong with my Dad, and having to explain it to other kids. Weirdly, it was actually easier when I was able to say "He's dead" instead of having to explain the amputation. Kids at that age just don't get it. But they should.
Any child scared by the sight of this woman has been failed by his or her parents. They are to blame for teaching children that a disability is something to be afraid of.
Thanks to
vescoiya who alerted me to this story yesterday.More links (I'll add more as I find them):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7906507.stm
Article on Sky News
Article on The First Post
It's shocking how many of the comments on the Daily Mail article are actually supportive of Cerrie and the BBC.
Article by Social Claire on Children & Young People Now.
An interesting discussion on the comments on the Guardian article.
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This should be a time that the parents take to explain to their kids about disabilities, being different, etc. Instead, they are massive chickens and complaining?
I said yesterday to my friend that I am doing my damndest to make sure Marvin grows up open minded in every way possible, whether it's disabilities, sexuality, race, etc and that if he doesn't, *I* am the one that did something wrong (well, my husband and I). It's our responsibility, not the network's, to teach our child.
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Exactly.
The worst thing, to me, is the "scared" part. Because kids don't get scared of things unless they've been taught to be scared. Kids are curious. Kids get scared of thunder or spiders or whatever because they pick up fears from others around them. If these parents are telling the truth: that their children are being frightened by this woman on TV, then it's because they've picked up from someone - from their own parents, most likely - that being different is something to be scared of. That's what's making me mad about this.
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Still. Epic fail. :/
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Of course, I assume these kids are much older and you're right, shouldn't be 'scared' but to say that kids are only taught to be scared isn't my own experience.
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But still, a point! New, unfamiliar things can be scary. Just not TV presenters, I don't think. The Chucky movies, yes, shouldn't have watched those at age 6 ...
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The Chucky movies, yes, shouldn't have watched those at age 6 ...
LOL! And I grew up watching Hammer House of Horror. Come to think of it, that probably explains a lot... :-)
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No, the Chucky thing was involuntary - this involved a babysitter, and also Jaws. ... ::shudder::
Ahah, apparently car washes can eat people! Or anyway, a woman got sucked into one recently, and some guy had to pull her out before it battered her to death. My fear was totally rational!
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You think this is new? Disabled has *always* been scary, because it reminds people that life isn't perfect. Some years back, a friend of mine encountered a Christian church where parishoners objected to having a wheelchair area in the front, because "it made them uncomfortable".
It's still pretty epic on the Fail Scale.
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But this? This woman is presenting children's TV. That it's on the BBC tells me a lot about her personality without me even having to look up her show: she'll be very perky, very friendly and outgoing. She's just missing a hand. I would understand if it made some people "uncomfortable", but "scary" (and to children) - yeah, that's new.
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Also what it would mean to all of those young children missing a limb to be able to think that one day they could be on TV. To have at least one presenter they could look up to who was like them.
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It's really important that these role models are out there.
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There are more positive portrayals of disabilities now...I just don't remember many from when I was a kid.
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I really worry about how sheltered some children are from the realities and natural consequences of life.
Children do have some natural fear of situations and differences but those have to be addressed as anything else in raising children into responsible adults.
You don't just nock an arrow and let it fly without at least aiming it.
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Yep, word to this. It's absolutely disgusting, and so narrow minded I can't get my head around it.
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Yeah. It's bad enough that disability is becoming code for "evil" in the movies. Now they want to take away a perfect positive role model?
Still angry. I'm hoping when I've slept on it I'll be coherent enough to write to the BBC.
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In this day and age, parents like that should be ashamed of themselves! Damn! =<{
I would've taken this opportunity to teach my children that life goes on, even with disabilities. It would make them stronger people.
This has made me very angry, too!!!
::shakes head in despair::
::hugs::
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Thanks :-)
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I wonder how those parents will cope with something that's actually challenging to explain.
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Ack - this makes me so wild. Whatever the hell happened to celebrating our differences? Honestly, some of these people need a good slap upside the head.
Sorry - been a loooong day. Pliz excuse the grump *g*
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...Then again, this story deserves it.
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Or Pluto! I hear Pluto's very nice, for an ex-planet. ^_^