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Thoughts on "dub-con" as a fanfic kink
This is a response to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thefrogg's post about consent issues in fanfic and to theladyscribe's response in which she describes one of her own fics as possibly "dub-con" (Dubious consent).
This is a touchy subject. Here's where I have to insert my standard feminist disclaimer: I am not discussing real life. I'm discussing fanfic, and specifically sexual-fantasy fanfic. In real life, there's no such thing as "dubious consent". In real life, either informed consent exists, or it's rape. Please don't think I can't make that distinction between fiction, fantasy and reality.
In fanfic, we're not dealing with the real world. In putting warnings on fanfic, we must acknowledge real-world issues, because (hello!) our readers are real people. If we don't acknowledge that real-world issues affect them, then the warning is pointless. So I seethefrogg's point, that a story where consent is less than explicit might be triggering for some readers.
The second part of this issue is the ages-old argument about the reasons for warnings/info and suchlike. Without reiterating the arguments here, the result is, broadly speaking, two camps of "warn-ers". One camp who warn "responsibly" i.e. who conscientiously include warnings for everything contained within a fic, and another camp who regard warnings as optional and might fail to warn if, for example, the "warning" might also be a spoiler.
For the reader, particularly the reader who wishes to avoid certain kinds of fic, this presents a dilemma. I want to be able to say oftheladyscribe's story "since there was no warning for non-con or dub-con, clearly the sex was intended to be consensal." To me, this is self-evident. In the story, Jess wakes up to find Dean touching her; they go on to have sex. In canon Dean can be a misogynist pig, but I don't see him as a man who goes where he's not wanted; so it wouldn't occur to me to think of the scenario as non-consensual. Dean wouldn't have done it if he didn't have reason to believe she would consent.
Unfortunately, every fanfic author who fails to warn for a rape scene in a fic makes a liar out of me on that presumption.
This is a pain in the ass. Because for me, dub-con is my second biggest fanfic kink. *points to standard feminist disclaimer above* And one of my biggest pet peeves is fics labelled "Dub-con" when they're really, really not.
There's an obvious conflict here betwen "dub-con" as a warning of potentially triggering material, and "dub-con" as a kink. If all it takes to make a story dub-con is the absence of a "yes", then my kink is doomed to frustration. I think there's an argument for presuming consent in fanfic, because we presume an awful lot of things in fanfic. Characterisation is based not solely on the story text, but on what the fanfic author expects the reader to know about the characters. When I wrote Ceremony of Innocence which ends with Sam leaving Dean and getting on a plane, I expected the reader to be aware that Dean's afraid of flying, that Sam knows Dean's afraid of flying and therefore Sam's choice of transport should mean something more than just it's the quickest way to get to California. Similarly, if I write - or read - a PWP, I presume the sex is consensual unless something (including the warnings on the fic) suggests otherwise. That's assuming the characters involved aren't canonically disposed to rape...but if they were I don't think I'd be reading about them.
Actual dub-con (and here I'm talking about dub-con-as-kink) is very hard to write. It's not something written "by mistake". All too often, fics labelled as "dub-con" are not "dubuious" at all: it's a label for consensual sex with some BDSM elements or for rape fic in which the victim experiences orgasm. These are not dub-con.
True dub-con rides the razor's edge of consent. It's the scenario in which consent is given, but not freely. It's the scenario in which the person wants it, really wants it, but is contrained to say no for social or political or emotional reasons. It's the fuck-or-die scenario which forces a couple not ready for it into a sexual relationship. It's the "sex-pollen" scenario where they don't realise there's an outside force acting on them.
I'm going to give examples from my own fic, not to show off my stories, but because only on my own fic can I speak with authority about the intent behind the words. Whether the intent carries through to the final result is for others to judge. For the sake of clarity, both of these are Supernatural fics featuring incest.
My own Restrain, Release (Sam/Dean) is not dub-con, because although Sam took advantage of Dean being drugged/drunk and Dean didn't specifically consent to sex on that night, the boys had discussed it beforehand and Dean's consent is implied because he has a safeword and chooses not to use it.
My story In Vino Veritas (John/Dean) is dub-con because although Dean gives consent, actively participates in the sex and has an orgasm, he has very conflicted feelings about sex with John and (although this is not specified in the story) he's fifteen years old; legally and morally too young to consent.
(For some readers the age issue and father/son power dynamic will shift the above story from dub-con to non-con; that's fine. Everyone's mileage differs a little and I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me on this. That's kind of the point. True dub-con should seem like non-con to some readers.)
For me, a dub-con scenario has two essential elements. First that the dominant partner in the sex has no reason, within the scene itself, to think the sex is non-consensual. In my John/Dean example, you can argue that John should have no reason to presume consent from Dean (and you'd be right!) But within the scene itself, Dean voluntarily gets into bed with John.
Similarly in "sex pollen" and "fuck-or-die" scenarios, the participants generally do consent to the sex within the actual scene. Whether that consent can be considered genuine depends on the wider context: did a relationship exist between them prior to the incident? Would these two people ever have slept together if some outside force hadn't interfered? If there was a pre-existing attraction, were there other things keeping them apart and what's the likelihood that they would have overcome those things on their own?
The second essential element in dub-con is this: if you were hypothetically able to ask the non-dominant partner (or both of them for a sex-pollen story where both were equally affected), after the event, whether or not there was consent he or she would answer either "yes" or "I don't know". That "yes" may be self-deception, but he or she must believe it.
There's another dub-con scenario, one which I've almost never seen in fanfic: the scenario where one partner genuinely has no idea that the other isn't freely consenting to the sex. Most slave!fic could take that line, as a slave, by definition is not free to refuse a master, but I've rarely seen a fic that handles it well. Admittedly, I've read a lot less of that genre in the past few years, but the general line in slave!fic seems to be either a) they're in love, so the consent issues inherent in the master/slave relationship are ignored, or b) it's rape or non-con, or presumed consensual in the same way prostitution is "consensual".
I would really love to see a slave!fic in which a loving master is genuinely shocked when his slave, given the capacity to consent, turns around and says "no, I'm leaving". But I guess that wouldn't suit the slashy need for a happy ending.
thefrogg's post about consent issues in fanfic and to theladyscribe's response in which she describes one of her own fics as possibly "dub-con" (Dubious consent). This is a touchy subject. Here's where I have to insert my standard feminist disclaimer: I am not discussing real life. I'm discussing fanfic, and specifically sexual-fantasy fanfic. In real life, there's no such thing as "dubious consent". In real life, either informed consent exists, or it's rape. Please don't think I can't make that distinction between fiction, fantasy and reality.
In fanfic, we're not dealing with the real world. In putting warnings on fanfic, we must acknowledge real-world issues, because (hello!) our readers are real people. If we don't acknowledge that real-world issues affect them, then the warning is pointless. So I see
thefrogg's point, that a story where consent is less than explicit might be triggering for some readers. The second part of this issue is the ages-old argument about the reasons for warnings/info and suchlike. Without reiterating the arguments here, the result is, broadly speaking, two camps of "warn-ers". One camp who warn "responsibly" i.e. who conscientiously include warnings for everything contained within a fic, and another camp who regard warnings as optional and might fail to warn if, for example, the "warning" might also be a spoiler.
For the reader, particularly the reader who wishes to avoid certain kinds of fic, this presents a dilemma. I want to be able to say of
theladyscribe's story "since there was no warning for non-con or dub-con, clearly the sex was intended to be consensal." To me, this is self-evident. In the story, Jess wakes up to find Dean touching her; they go on to have sex. In canon Dean can be a misogynist pig, but I don't see him as a man who goes where he's not wanted; so it wouldn't occur to me to think of the scenario as non-consensual. Dean wouldn't have done it if he didn't have reason to believe she would consent. Unfortunately, every fanfic author who fails to warn for a rape scene in a fic makes a liar out of me on that presumption.
This is a pain in the ass. Because for me, dub-con is my second biggest fanfic kink. *points to standard feminist disclaimer above* And one of my biggest pet peeves is fics labelled "Dub-con" when they're really, really not.
There's an obvious conflict here betwen "dub-con" as a warning of potentially triggering material, and "dub-con" as a kink. If all it takes to make a story dub-con is the absence of a "yes", then my kink is doomed to frustration. I think there's an argument for presuming consent in fanfic, because we presume an awful lot of things in fanfic. Characterisation is based not solely on the story text, but on what the fanfic author expects the reader to know about the characters. When I wrote Ceremony of Innocence which ends with Sam leaving Dean and getting on a plane, I expected the reader to be aware that Dean's afraid of flying, that Sam knows Dean's afraid of flying and therefore Sam's choice of transport should mean something more than just it's the quickest way to get to California. Similarly, if I write - or read - a PWP, I presume the sex is consensual unless something (including the warnings on the fic) suggests otherwise. That's assuming the characters involved aren't canonically disposed to rape...but if they were I don't think I'd be reading about them.
Actual dub-con (and here I'm talking about dub-con-as-kink) is very hard to write. It's not something written "by mistake". All too often, fics labelled as "dub-con" are not "dubuious" at all: it's a label for consensual sex with some BDSM elements or for rape fic in which the victim experiences orgasm. These are not dub-con.
True dub-con rides the razor's edge of consent. It's the scenario in which consent is given, but not freely. It's the scenario in which the person wants it, really wants it, but is contrained to say no for social or political or emotional reasons. It's the fuck-or-die scenario which forces a couple not ready for it into a sexual relationship. It's the "sex-pollen" scenario where they don't realise there's an outside force acting on them.
I'm going to give examples from my own fic, not to show off my stories, but because only on my own fic can I speak with authority about the intent behind the words. Whether the intent carries through to the final result is for others to judge. For the sake of clarity, both of these are Supernatural fics featuring incest.
My own Restrain, Release (Sam/Dean) is not dub-con, because although Sam took advantage of Dean being drugged/drunk and Dean didn't specifically consent to sex on that night, the boys had discussed it beforehand and Dean's consent is implied because he has a safeword and chooses not to use it.
Dean shivered, and this time not because of the cold. Sam's casual tone unnerved him a little, as did the fact that he'd apparently slept through being stripped, bound and gagged. That just wasn't possible.
"Good boy," Sam said softly, in the same tone he would have used talking to a dog. "Now, listen carefully, Dean. There are three rules. One: you will obey every order I give you, at once, no arguments. That shouldn't be too difficult; I know how you love to take orders."
Fuck you! Dean thought, but he made no sound. He could almost remember... They went to a club last night, one of those places with live music and... But the memory danced out of reach.
"Two," Sam went on relentlessly. "You may not talk without permission. Three: you may not come without permission." Sam blew gently on Dean's chest, across his nipples; to Dean Sam's breath felt hotter than it should have. "Do you understand the rules, Dean? Make noise for yes."
Dean grunted past the cloth in his mouth.
"Good boy," Sam said again. Dean half-expected him to pat his head. "Do you remember your safe-word?"
For a moment, Dean had no idea what he meant, because he couldn't remember them planning anything like this. Then the memory came back to him, a conversation they'd had weeks before. Dean had told Sam that fancy safe-words were dumb and you should just say stop.
My story In Vino Veritas (John/Dean) is dub-con because although Dean gives consent, actively participates in the sex and has an orgasm, he has very conflicted feelings about sex with John and (although this is not specified in the story) he's fifteen years old; legally and morally too young to consent.
John's hand gripped Dean's forearm, preventing him from leaving. "Dean, wait. I ain't so drunk as that."
"Bullshit. You can't even stand."
John's grip on his arm tightened. Dean met his hooded eyes, trying to understand. John looked like he wanted to say something, but no words came.
But Dean understood. His father needed him.
Dean swallowed past the tightness in his throat, and nodded slowly. "It's okay, Dad." He withdrew his arm from John's grip and stripped off his t-shirt. He stood and unzipped his pants. Please god don't let Sammy wake up... Dean removed his underpants and socks, leaving everything in a heap on the floor. He straightened and stood, naked, before his father.
John gazed at him for a moment, long enough for Dean to squirm under the scrutiny. Without speaking, John pushed back the blanket. Dean, shivering in the cold, lay down beside him.
(For some readers the age issue and father/son power dynamic will shift the above story from dub-con to non-con; that's fine. Everyone's mileage differs a little and I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me on this. That's kind of the point. True dub-con should seem like non-con to some readers.)
For me, a dub-con scenario has two essential elements. First that the dominant partner in the sex has no reason, within the scene itself, to think the sex is non-consensual. In my John/Dean example, you can argue that John should have no reason to presume consent from Dean (and you'd be right!) But within the scene itself, Dean voluntarily gets into bed with John.
Similarly in "sex pollen" and "fuck-or-die" scenarios, the participants generally do consent to the sex within the actual scene. Whether that consent can be considered genuine depends on the wider context: did a relationship exist between them prior to the incident? Would these two people ever have slept together if some outside force hadn't interfered? If there was a pre-existing attraction, were there other things keeping them apart and what's the likelihood that they would have overcome those things on their own?
The second essential element in dub-con is this: if you were hypothetically able to ask the non-dominant partner (or both of them for a sex-pollen story where both were equally affected), after the event, whether or not there was consent he or she would answer either "yes" or "I don't know". That "yes" may be self-deception, but he or she must believe it.
There's another dub-con scenario, one which I've almost never seen in fanfic: the scenario where one partner genuinely has no idea that the other isn't freely consenting to the sex. Most slave!fic could take that line, as a slave, by definition is not free to refuse a master, but I've rarely seen a fic that handles it well. Admittedly, I've read a lot less of that genre in the past few years, but the general line in slave!fic seems to be either a) they're in love, so the consent issues inherent in the master/slave relationship are ignored, or b) it's rape or non-con, or presumed consensual in the same way prostitution is "consensual".
I would really love to see a slave!fic in which a loving master is genuinely shocked when his slave, given the capacity to consent, turns around and says "no, I'm leaving". But I guess that wouldn't suit the slashy need for a happy ending.
degrees of non-con
But in fiction I often get the impression that non-con vs. rape might reflect the degree of violence used. With rape meaning straight out violent mean spirited rape with a straight forward unwilling and in pain victim. And non-con covering less violent versions too like under the influence of drugs, coercion, fondling and seducing somebody who is tied up and imprisoned.
All of these might be rape/non-con, but it can still a difference to the reader. They might be willing to read a non-con situation, but not if it is brutal and violent or not when a character they like is portrayed as manipulative, brutal or villaineous. (personally? I would like an additional "dark" label for any fic that has normally good character behaving evil)
I would collectively file sex pollens, sex or die or slave fic into the non-con corner. But precisely because they already are one can see it as redundant to label it non-con in addition to their already existing label. if it says slave fix or sex pollen fic it already gives the reader an idea what to expect and they can decide whether this degree of impaired judgement is something they are comfortable with.
Take slave fic. If it was labeled slave fic and otherwise suggested that it's gonna contain sex (and sex before the slave is freed), my guess would be that it contains only happy fluffy sex that the slave enjoys. The fact that the slave enjoys it doesn't change that it's a non-con situation because even though he wants to give consent he can't. Just like a 3 or 8 or 13 year old can't give consent. If a slave fic was labeled non-con in addition to slave fic I would assume that sex takes place where it is obvious that the slave isn't really comfortable with it but that it's not really violent. And if it was labeled slavefic and rape I would assume that there is straight forward rape with violence and injuries and what not.
Drunk!fic is the same to me. I don't mind drunk!fic. I emotionally don't consider it very non-con-y. The drunk!fic label suggest to me that it's likely gonna be a light hearted fic with alcohol and sex in it. If I was the kind of person who has issues with alcohol during sex I might want to steer clear of it, but other than that write away. I have to admit that I find it more bothersome if one person is clearly sober while the other is clearly drunk. And whether the person who is drunk is lucid enough to be the aggressor and believable as the aggressor. And whether or not the non-drunk person was counting on the other's drunkenness or just stumbled into it by accident. (which actually brings me to an interesting canon example, but this is getting too long for one reply)
I'm actually stumped about what would constitute a real dub-con. Maybe a fic where the POV character doesn't know and the reader isn't sure either. When it's intentionally left open.
And there is sort of the bodice ripper example or the moral no stories, which is a category I rather like. I have always had a soft spot for hero/villain pairings. Where I can buy a situation where the hero is attracted to the villain and wants to have sex with him but can't bring himself to yes because it would shatter their whole moral foundation. And trhe villain is all "I know you want me, I know you can't say it, therefore I'm taking you without you saying yes, taking the responsibility away from you". In real life now that is a dub-con that would never fly and be straight up non-con. Because only bad things has come out of men running around they think they know that women mean yes when they say no. Or that they know that a woman wants better than she herself or contrary to what she is saying. But in fic? What is it? Non-con? Probably. But it's one that if well written always leaves me stumped.
But yes, generally I tend to fall fast on the side of non-con. Either impaired judgement (either through outside force or though substances) takes place or it doesn't.
Real Canon examples (last post I swear)
Situation 1 (DOOL, Sami, EJ &Lucas): She is in a car accident. Her boyfriend is trapped under the roof of the car and potentially dying. Another motorist drives by, holds a gun to her. She begs him to help her or else her boyfriend will die. He tells her she has to have sex with her or else he'll let the boyfriend die. She has sex with him.
Personally, that strikes me as straight forward rape. It's as much rape as the raider who comes into a town, shoots a child in the head and tells the mother if she doesn't have sex with him he'll kill her other children too. The legal definition of rape explicitly covers rape that happens while threatening somebody (for example with a weapon) or threatening others (the "I'll kill X if you don't sleep with me). But there was still discussion because... (IMO, probably because the actor is hot) I guess one could make cases for forced sex and non-con, I don't know?
Situation 2 (GH, Rick&Liz): They are married. He is lying to her, but she doesn't know that. So from her perspective they are happily married, love each other and have sex regularly. He slips her birthcontrol pills. She has a bad reaction to them. They have sex and I think she passes out after the fact? Something like that. Anyway, huge discussion, was it rape? Was it "just" icky? Was it not rape because they are married and she would have slept with him definitely if she hadn't had that reaction? Is it rape because she didn't consent to being slipped something she didn't know about (though he thought it would be harmless)? Is it normal like any married couple who go somewhere, she gets tipsy and when they come they have sex? And it is never brought up again on the show.
Situation 3 (B&B, Brooke &Ridge &Nick): They are a couple, happy together and all. Maybe quarrelling a bit about her ex, but nothing out of the ordinary to them. She drinks cough sirup. Has a bad reaction to it. He comes home. Isn't aware of it. They have sex. It's never addressed again. Is it rape? Is it "just" icky? Particularly since it's in connection with another storyline that is going on at the same time. About a year earlier Ridge and Brooke got married. An accident happened. He is presumed dead. She has a total freak out/break down. Her ex whom she dumped to be with Ridge holds her through it. They have sex. Two days later Ridge turns up not dead and she reunites with him, not potentially pregnant with her ex's kid. She never calls it rape, but Ridge many months later accuses the ex of taking advantage of Brooke when whe was in emotional distress and not truly herself.
Situation 4 (German soap, Roman &Deniz): They used to be a couple. Then D left R for a girl. Roman pursues him for a while and D rejects him. Then he begins sending mixed messages. He kisses Roman and then insists he loves his girlfriend. A bunch of times. Then D gets high and R and D have sex. Is it icky? Is it normal? Is it kinda exploitative? R sat there when D took the pills and knows that he is high. He knows from a previous event that being high lowers D's inhibitions. He tags along to a party that is at another location and there they have sex. He is also deeply convinced that D is gay and is just denying is sexuality. There are no additional pointers from the writing. No dundundun music to show that what is happening is bad. No sad romantic music to show that it is angsty and tragic. Is it sort of explotative because D was high and R wasn't? Is it just normal non-exciting behavior because so what, people have parties, people get high, people have sex there. Is it understandable because R really loves D and wants him back? Is it actually laudable because he is helping D to no longer deny his sexuality? Is it wrong because we know there is a good chance if R asked D for sex/a relationship at this point while D is sober D would likely turn him down?
I'd atually like it if somebody made a long detailed poll giving potential examples from fics and then let people vote what they would label it, rape, non-con, dub-con, nothing at all, something else... Maybe it would lead to some really interesting results.