My Muse Hates Me (or maybe loves me too much)

My muse hates me.

Last night I was musing over a "maybe" plot idea for a fic in my Cry Wolf 'verse. Today, a totally different idea is zapping me like a freaking cattle prod!

But right now, now is when I should not be starting a new fic. a) Because I have too damned many WIPs already and b) because Sweet Charity ends tomorrow and I will have a fic to write for my buyer.

So why would ya pick now to give me the most fabulous fic idea I've had for ages? Why now? It's dark, it's got angst out the wazoo, it's potentially smokin' hot too... Best fic bunny I've had since Predator.

I just...hell, I don't know if I've got what it takes to write this one. It would be a John Winchester fic, darker than my usual (yeah, really) and I don't know if I can get that deep into his head. There are aspects of John that I'm never going to understand because my heart just can't go there. (Which is probably why I mostly write him screwing his sons...it takes me out of the strictly canon characterisation and into a place where I can know him - 'scuse the pun - intimately. Yeah, yeah - I'm wierd. What, you didn't already know that?)

But this one idea...oh, it really, really wants to be written but I must resist. I must. At least for now.

Damn.